These Are Professional Tears

For those that don't already know, I have held my Nebraska real estate license for a year. In my first 365 days of real estate, I did a whole bunch of nothing. I took part in zero transactions... and it's no one's fault but my own.

Don't get me wrong, real estate is extremely difficult to get into, even if you give it your all. If I'm being honest with myself though, I never gave it my all, or even a fraction of it, for that matter. In fact, I actively avoided it as much as possible. "What was your reasoning behind avoiding money?" you may ask. Allow me to unpack that.

Before I passed the tests to earn my license, I also failed the tests several times. Each time I failed, it was by a grossly small margin, adding insult to injury. This knocked my confidence, and instead of letting it fuel me, I allowed it to ruin me. I talked myself out of the real estate industry. I had convinced myself it was something I didn't want to do anymore, despite the fact that it had been my dream for so long. After eventually passed my licensure exam, I already had a chip on my shoulder. I then allowed for life to get in the way. I was still in school to earn my degree, and I was working jobs that had a guaranteed amount of money to make and provided me with a safer, more stable set of duties. I had all the excuses to not do it. I think my real reasoning was my pride.

I have always been someone who had things come very naturally to me. I've never had to work too hard at something to master it. The real estate industry was –and is– very intimidating to me. I was going to have to work incredibly hard to become an expert and earn my stripes. That put me off entirely. I was not confident enough in myself or my abilities to become the best, so I simply didn't try.

Because I didn't try, I wasted a year of precious time to learn and grow.

Fast forward from when I first got my license to about a month ago. I decided to quit my full-time job but had no plan of what to do next. I was getting rejected from jobs left and right and was starting to feel incredibly defeated. I wasn't finding myself getting too excited about any opportunity I came across either. That is until I met my new teammate, Scott.

I posted on Facebook, asking my friends and family for any job leads they might have. A guy I went to high school with tagged his brother in the comments section of my post, so I clicked his profile to check it out. I saw the words real estate on the screen and had to hold myself back from immediately blocking him. I may have not known what I wanted to do with my life, but I sure as heck did not want to do real estate! When Scott messaged me to try and set up a meeting, I hardly gave him the time of day. I replied with something along the lines of "thank you for reaching out, but I have decided to move a different direction and no longer work in real estate," which was a euphemism for "please do not ever talk to me again I don't want to have to explain my personal failures to you." Luckily for me, Scott is persistent. He somehow mind-gamed me into coming to meet him at his office to discuss a marketing and admin position instead. That sounded a bit more tolerable to me.

During our meeting, we made our way to the topic of my real estate license (though I had tried to tip-toe around it,) sending me into panic mode. I began crying, almost uncontrollably, as I tried to explain to him that I had no interest in selling real estate. Instead of making me feel weird about the snot dripping down my face and the tears ruining my interview makeup, Scott starting digging into the reasons I might be feeling this way. As the conversation went on, he took the time to patiently discover what my troubles were, ultimately uncovering my lack of confidence in myself. He didn't run for the hills. He did quite the opposite. He continued to seek me out and offer me opportunities. Despite being so uncertain and worried, I took a leap of faith and joined his team. If this guy had this much faith in me, it was time for me to have a little in myself.

It's been a few weeks in office now, and I can honestly say I have cried almost every day. However, the reason is quite different now. I cry all the time because I'm happy. I do it because I feel empowered. I do it because I am overwhelmed by how lucky I am. The tears are no longer a signal of my discomfort and fear but of my gratitude and excitement for the future. These are professional tears! They're the kind that working people like myself cry once we finally feel as though we've made it. This is my long-winded way of saying, do not allow yourself to get in the way of you and your plans. For too long, the only person holding me back was myself. Now that I am fully immersed in the dream I had for myself, my only regret is not doing it sooner.